3+ Years

So, how long are crushes supposed to last? How do you overcome those butterflies and the goosebumps you get when you see someone you like? How is it that you can like someone so much, yet they hardly know you exsist?

It has been over 3 years of having a crush on someone. They know it. I've dated others. Every date I have gone on I have thought, "what would my crush think of them?" It's hopeless. I need to move out of state. I'm not even sure that will work. I've stopped communicating with them for months at a time. I've written about all my crazy feelings and interactions with them in hopes of getting it all out of my system and feeling like a normal, dateable person again. Yet, here I am again! That O.A.R. song, "Shattered", was written about me. I think, no matter what, I will always "turn the car around". Yet, (and here's another song reference) I feel like Alanis' song, "Uninvited". I feel like I'm not allowed to like them because they don't like me back.

Ugh! I just need to get out of this state, I think.